Amie Stuart ~ On the Back Porch

I’m over at NAS(ty) today – it’s rather er well not for the faint of heart so you were warned. And be prepared to play.

As you all know, I have two boys. They fight. A LOT. There is much wrestling and name calling–I even had to break up a wrestling match at 7:30 this morning. You’d think at nearly 14 and 12 they’d effing stop by now! But no.

So anyway a few months back, they’re verbally harassing each other and I decided to step in. It went something like this, “Hey #2 son. Com’ere.”

“What, oh most fabulous mommy of mine?” (because you KNOW I AM)
“Go out there and tell #1 his name was almost Elvis.”
“What tha? GET OUT NO WAY. My mom would NEVER do that to a son of hers, oh most fabulous mommy of mine!”
“You’re right, beloved son, but your dad would.” (S’truth I SWEAR!)
So with much glee, #2 son runs to the living room and says, “Ha ha you were almost named Elvis.”
At which point He Who Shall Foreverafter Be Referred to Elvis on This Blog says, “BULL!”
At which point I call out, “Oh yeah! Your dad wanted to call you Elvis…or Bruce after Bruce Lee.”
At which point Elvis comes running in my room, falls on his knees and gives me the most beseeching looking. “Mommy PLEASE tell me, did #2 brother have an alternate name?”
“Yes dear.”
At which point, he climbs a bit higher on the bed and whispers, “Please, oh darling mother of mine, tell me…what was it?”
“Kevin.”
At which point, Elvis slumps in misery at the side of the bed. Much like the Devil who went down to Georgia, Elvis knows he’s been defeated.
And this is where Elvis leaves the building…or at least my room. Even he knows there is no glory in calling his little brother by the Name He Will Forever After Be Know By on This Blog, KEVIN.

And yes, I laughed. Because even the most fabulous mommy in the world can have a bit of a mean streak.