Amie Stuart ~ On the Back Porch

I saw on the news this morning that Exxon/Mobile posted a RECORD profit for the last quarter of 2007.

How much you ask?

40 BILLION DOLLARS!

I can sooooo see someone spinning around behind his desk doing that Dr. Evil laugh. I have never in my life wanted to write hate mail so bad. Do you KNOW how much 40 billion dollars is? I can’t even figure out how much that is a day?!?!

My head hurts. I”m gonna go take two squirts of gas and call you in the morning.

I want this for Christmas (be sure to watch The Video … I’ve never seen a man smile so much while exercising. Imagine how much a woman would like it)

*that’s one damned expensive vibrator

**Yes Tanya I”m writing

blogger hates me.

And, I hate blogger. I’m not gonna be google’s bitch.

S’all I’m saying.

Man so American Idol was SOOOOOOOOO much better than last week and I have to say, I was really worried at the thought of the British Invasion.  Turns out I actually knew a lot of the songs chosen and enjoyed the show–lots of great performances.

Hailey–cute, great performance, perfect song, still not wowed though

Chris Richardson — Sigh (I need a drooley face).  He was awesome.  Sometimes one of the things that bugs me is the band is so loud they drown out the singer so acoustic worked fab for me.

Stephanie–seemed very nervous.  Definitely not her best performance.

Blake–another FAB job *sigh*

Lakisha — good but i definitely see what the judges were saying.  Her comeback about 50 years from now was a zinger though!

Phil–too shouty

Jordin–sold me where Lakisha didn’t.  I totally believed she felt every inch of that song and I think she gets the girl’s prize for the night.

Sanjaya–Simon’s comment said it all.  He practically screamed the entire song.

Gina–I actually liked her performance. I just wish she’d been a bit edgier

Chris Sligh–another good solid performance but nothing that screams “vote for me”

Melinda–again another great one but I didn’t care for her song.

The little girl who cried the entire night–needed a good slap.  JESUS H! People please!  I got really annoyed (as did the girl next to her) and one the radio this AM one of the DJ’s suggested she was a plant–where were her parents?

Today is ShelliBelly’s birthday!!!!!!  Go wish her a happy 30th! Ah to be that young again.
I’ll be over at Southern Fried Chicas later today dishing on….NO RACE 

(side note–I’m SO NOT a Diana Ross fan so last night’s AI was especially painful for me).

What is the chill factor? It’s that chill you get when something really touches you–for me it usually involves singing.  Phil, Melinda, Lakisha, Jordan all had chill factor.

If possible, Hailey just proved why she shouldn’t have made it to the top twelve, and for fuck’s sake SIT UP STRAIGHT WOMAN! You’ve got millions of people watching you and you’re slumped over like a freaking rag doll.  That dress was ugly.  And she was worse than Sanjaya (who actually wasn’t that bad last night–except for his hair and worse, the dangly earrings which I just hated.  Sanjaya has a problem many writers can probably relate too–he sucks at transitions.).

Brandon–what was that?  I’m still confused.  And saddened.  My heart hurts.

Chris–I liked his version but then see my note about not being a Diana Ross fan, same for Blake and Chris R (esp Chris R who I really like).  But I also agree with the judges that sometimes you really do have to let Motown be Motown.  I really liked Gina’s performance, I fast forwarded through Stephanies (Disco died for a resaon).

Overall an uninspired waste of my time.  Made worse yet by the fact that there was NOTHING ELSE ON!  At least DIRT kicked ass last night!

or why I changed electric companies.

In April I used 1442 KWH.  My bill was 195.00

In May I used 2116 KWH.  My bill was 180.00

In June I used 2584 KWH. My bill was 395.00–DOUBLE THE PREVIOUS MONTH for 468KWH more.

In July I used 3182 KWH.  My bill was 485.00.

In August I used 4765 KWH.  My bill was 725.00

The average temperature from June to August went up 6 degrees and……..there was no one home during the day all summer long from M-F (except some Wednesday afternoons).   Matter of fact, the kids went back to school in mid-August.  However also keep in mind that August was the last bill before the new electric company kicked in.  In other words, TXU hates me too

You can…but you can’t pick your family. 
Let me start out by saying I’m a firm believer in shit happening for a reason and us being here to learn from the shit that happens. This doesn’t mean we have no control over what happens though but I can’t figure out if this is how it’s really supposed to be or if I’m doing this to myself.

Anyway, I remember recently at a family dinner my uncle said something to me and I looked at him and didn’t know the appropriate response. Funny, I don’t usually have this problem with writers but it was almost like he was speaking a foreign language. For the record, I occasionally have this problem with other humanoids as well.
Maybe that’s why I enjoyed Dexter so much. If you haven’t checked out Dexter on Showtime it’s a new series about a serial killer that kills killers. I think what struck me most is that he’s an observer who freely acknowledges his difference from other humans, he totally can’t relate and considers sex messy. Yeah, and he kills people–go figure. I could so relate.

So if you could pick your family, who would you pick?  I think I’d like Bill Clinton for a dad–I mean it’s not like he could ground me when I’m bad LOL