Amie Stuart ~ On the Back Porch

Shelli I know emails are bouncing. I’m not sure what’s going on because NONE of my boxes are anywhere near full.
I’ve had no cable since Saturday which means no Internet either. The cable guy came today, proceeded to be rude and treat me like Stupid Hysterical Woman (this does NOT go over well. I’m not an idiot) and said that there’s a wiring problem and a line guy won’t be out for at least 72 hours (maybe longer). This means no ‘net this weekend to boot……

Welcome to Time Warner Cable…… :uzi:

Something I learned from my mother, and perfected with the ex: The more you bitch and moan and nag at me about something, the less I give a shit and the less I hear you. :biteme:

So what did you learn from your Mom? :meow:

Save me a spot!

And yes this is a real church sign, but if you like you can make your own…like this

So where do YOU hide the pressies? Normally mine go in the closet, which my kids know so this year…..this year I stuffed most of them in the cabinets above my toilet

Take that you little peekers.

Mark, you’re a doll. I wish I were your stalker…

No wonder she’s my critique partner. We think way too much alike (but she’s much more eloquent :lighterup:).

And it’s not the crank caller currently working in a FEMA Construction Zone in Louisiana who kept calling me yesterday afternoon to play clips from Napoleon Dynamite–no I’m not kidding. Dude…GET A LIFE!

My children are spoiled ungrateful brats. Now, don’t get me wrong, for the most part they’re good kids, though as most kids go, they’re inherrently selfish. Especially my oldest child. My youngest is the semi-oblivious one who’s so easy to buy for because he’s just happy to have something to open even if he does know who Santa is *ahem*

Anyway the kids had this whole “I’ll give you my first born child”–no THANK YOU–”for an x-box” discussion and I was like well, I’ll think about it. So in the mean time #1 badgers #2 into agreeing, despite #2’s worries that I might not get anything for christmas if I spent all my money on an X-box. *Sigh*

#1 says #2 can have the playstation in his room if he’ll agree, draws up a contract and they both sign it. So I had decided against it but I hadn’t told them yet, when this box of clothes I’d ordered (prior to the convo) shows up and #1 has a fit cuz he’s not getting an X-Box and I’m thinking,”You selfish little :hushup: . You have NO IDEA how lucky you are that you can’t remember the christmas’ I had to go to Salvation Army for presents, or how lucky you are to be warm and have your own room and have a freaking HOME and CLOTHES and SHOES you ungrateful, hateful, horrible little child.” And I turned around and looked at him and said, “If you say one freaking word, I’m taking all your presents back.”

Apparently I went seriously wrong somewhere. :embarassed:

It’s been brought to my attention I forgot to mention that Once in a Blue Moon got a recommended read from FAR :woot:

I also have two newsletters to send out tonight and tomorrow, including one with an interview with Amy Knupp–sorry Amy I know it’s late :crazy:

I”m also one of the featured authors at TRS Blue this month! please go vote for me

Um what else? Oh I think I finally finished editing the novella from hell. It still sorta needs an ending but…….it’s close enough for now. :zipit:

Still mulling over the ever-elusive question of ‘how does one promo smart, yet not annoy the natives’? No answers have hit me yet.

And one last thing…an interesting, and rather scary tidbit I picked up from a print-published friend, who picked it up from a print-published friend of hers AND put it to the test. There is something SHOCKINGLY IG’NERNT about learning that over at Amazon.com the number of clicks on your TITLE* influencing your sales ranking. That’s right–the more people click on your TITLE*, the higher, or rather, better your numbers are. Whew that was a mouthful.

This reeks of crack pipes. I’m gonna have to mull it over some.

Ok Back to the grind……

*Edited and corrected

What are you getting your loved ones for Christmas?

In my case it’s the kids. They know who the real Santa C is and have presented me with lists accordingly. It’s not so much that I mind that they know or anything like that (cuz the oldest is a real pill to buy for), it’s just that I absolutely can’t stand the thought of spending the money for a Nintendo DS only to have the oldest lose it or break it-like they BOTH did the last time I bought them gameboys.

I guess my point is it absolutely FRIES MY ASS to spend money on :hushup: they don’t take care of, so as much as I hate to disappoint them, I’m just not so inclined to give them what they want. And EVERYTHING they want is video game oriented. I don’t mind buying them new games for the Playstation and even getting them the nicer controllers they want but I just keep thinking what a freaking hastle it was last time we did gameboys–lets talk stealing mommy’s batteries (never mind that I bought them chargers they STILL stole my batteries-or each others- which was a constant headache).

On the flip side, they’re getting a computer (wait–it’s FREE–an 18 MO old Dell from a friend) and I think I’m gonna do wireless internet which means I have to invest in software to kidproof the computer (IN the living room) and a router. This will get them OFF my laptop which irritates me to no end.

So again, what are you getting your loved ones? :dead: