Amie Stuart ~ On the Back Porch

I want this for Christmas (be sure to watch The Video … I’ve never seen a man smile so much while exercising. Imagine how much a woman would like it)

*that’s one damned expensive vibrator

**Yes Tanya I”m writing

I wish I’d taken a pic–it’s so clean! I’m so happy! I’m so grubby! Ew

but anywayyy guess what I found in the garage. A little karmic payback for cleaning out the closet. See I had this bag of clothes I put out there two years ago to give to charity *cough* but never got around to it *cough* and I decided since they had been sitting out there so long I’d WASH them and LO AND BEHOLD what did I find?

Not one but TWO pair of brand new with tags jeans I’d put out there because I’d had them for two years and never been able to fit into them.

I washed them so keep your fingers crossed.

Last night small children went to the park to play football so I got my writing done without a trip to Starbucks!

I was tagged by Mik so here goes. Things that make me shudder: DIRTY BATHROOMS (hear me not-so-small children of mine), ROACHES, EX’s, CLINGY CO-DEPENDENT PEOPLE, HOLIDAYS (especially stupid ones like oh HALLOWEEN) and THE THREAT OF WRITER’S BLOCK.

I’ll tag anyone who wants to play.

*NO I haven’t found the cord to the camera!

I should make a Thursday Thirteen out of this…so help me Gawd……

Anyway so I open my Myspace acct (I FOUND AN OLD FRIEND!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!) but anyway I got this email from this man. His name is PAUL STEVE (yeah that’s your REAL name) and he’s from Lima, Ohio (that’s why his profile says New Mexico) and I’m the LOVE OF HIS LIFE!

Check it out….

hello precious queen of my heart
i was just going thru som profile while i saw ur i are so lovely look intelligent and caring lover.

(I have a 4th Grade education and my real name is Jim Bob Billy the Sixth)

i love to be among u intellegence women who love a man a woman that will be honest to me a woman that can say i love u paul i will stay with u for the rest oof my life .

(Paul, I’m divorcing you and taking everything! Dude…HELLOOOOOO….I’d never pledge the rest of my life to ANYONE I didn’t give birth too and even that is questionable)

i am paul steve a single male 35 years of age i live in lima ohio. i love staying and i am a traveller cos of the nature of my bussiness.

i love playing with my pets i love hockey, basket ball ,base ball, horse riding,dancing going to party, and love to go for swimming every weekend and love to go out with my friends .. so i am looking for a woman to settle down with.

(English is not my first language. Can I have your bank account number so you can hold some money for me? Do we even want to KNOW what kind of pets he has?)

and i have found that woman i have been searching for a long time
you are onewoman that i cherish and loved all my life ,merely looking at you i knew you are the one i love in a million man in this world i have seen many men who want me to date them but i have no love for them and i have turn my back on them.

when i saw you i saw love when i sent you this email i just sent my heart and soul to the woman i love and cherish and that sweet pumpkin is you.
u are my sweet pinkly and my only woman in a million red stars u might not really know me but i am willing to know you since i saw you i fell in love with you cos u are real cute ,loving and caring and i will like to know you better and more about you and i will love to talk to you in my instant messnger my yahoo id is jean_ashley10v and my email is spaul12@yahoo.com u can send a mail to me there and i will get it i will be awating your ultimate response
lot of smiles and hugs
paul

(Now, I am sure that there are women dumb enough to fall for this…let’s call it what it is…SHIT, but I’m truly insulted he thinks I’m one of them.)

Please….everyone…feel free to email Sean Paul my terrorist lover from the back woods of Afghanastan and tell him he’s the love of YOUR life.

I’m over at SFC Today blogging about my miserable weekend!

Also see Raines post on TMI, Mik’s post on Dick vs Penis and Shellis’ post debunking the Muse.

In other news……we saw Fantastic 4 which was a definite bright spot. To be honest, it was better than the first movie! I kid you not. It’s probably one of the best sequels I’ve ever seen. Or I was high on Diet Coke

I found out early this am it was my day at the LSB author’s blog sooooooo since we’ve been chatting about online dating all week, I decided to do an early Thursday Thirteen over there.

Happy Monday Morning!!!!!!!!! Yes, Karin I will write today. I promise. But I also have some other blog duties to tend to. Speaking of which, I’m over at Southern Fried Chicas today talking about dating. And I”ll be over at Naughty and Spice tomorrow….also talking about dating.

We had our RWA meeting this weekend too, and afterward (after the nose) I ran home, packed up the kids and hit Candace Havens’ book signing. She and Rosemary Clement Moore we kind enough to both pick up my books. I have the hardest time figuring out what to write so here’s my question of the day…..what do you writers usually write when you sign books?

ask me about Oklahoma.