Amie Stuart ~ On the Back Porch

Trying to watch American Idol while your children are jamming out to Rock Band. I NEVER thought I’d say this but if i hear Wanted Dead or Alive one more time….someone’s gonna die.

So let’s get to the girls…
1. Asia’h “Extra” Epperson–I wonder what movie she was an extra in. She did Whitney–and frankly I knew she was in trouble because Simon busts on ANYONE who does Whitney. Why I dunno….anyway I thought it was weak at the beginning and it sounded like she blew it at the end. No, Paula, she didn’t hit the note.

2. Kady Malloy–You’re so forgetable I don’t remember what your embarrassing moment is. I didn’t know the song. I thought it was horrible–made worse when I found out it was Queen. You were pitchy and flat and you….are NOT the next American Idol. I totally agree w/Simon in that you have NO personality when you sing. You’re like a robot. Just go back and watch the tapes. Seriously dude.

3. Amanda Overmeyer–Joan Jett?! Sweet! Great job….I though this was her strongest performance yet.

4. Carly “Greased Up” Smithson–Dude…I thought it was solid. She’ll probalby end up in the top 12 but she wasn’t stellar, knock it out of the park for me.

I think this was the point where Paula, who is actually coherent tonight accidentally insulted the crowd by calling some of them mutts because I have a note here that says someone called Carly a dependable dog. I kinda agree w/Simon about the wrong song thing.

OH and another thing…while on Boys night Paula said the boys were all wonderful and talented, on Girl’s Night it was all about apperances–but at least she was coherent if not useful. (I’m going to try and be nice–cuz you know if I found out Paula had like health problems that made her act like that I’d feel bad)

5. Kristi Lee “Dog” Cook–Very daring doing a Journey song because you KNOW Randy is going to be all over you and not in a good way, but I think she did a good job. There was a part of me that kept expecting JUST a little more and I never got it–she blew the high note. I disagree w/Simon–I don’t think she’s forgettable.

6. Ramiele Mulabye?–I totally missed her embarrassing moment. I totally agree w/Simon that shew as predictable and I was a little bored even though I think she did a good job. She just really hasn’t impressed me like she did in Hollywood week.

7. Brooke White–Pat Benatar?! Does anyone remember that movie, The Legend of Billie Jean? I LOVED that movie…okay anyway, I actually like the acoustic and I know it’s difficult. I totally agree w/Simon here..it’s NOT a song that would have suited her and i was surprised when I heard she was doing it but she totally made it her own. I really liked it though I kinda felt like I was waiting on the punch line–I also realize she doesn’t have the powerhouse voice some of the other girls have, she’s much more low-key and that’s okay

Ok what is Simon so tickled about? He’s in a good mood.

8. Syesha Mercado–She’s so cute. And solid…much like Carly I think she’s very dependable and i agree w/Simon that it was a bit predictable. I really expected worse feedback for her–after all she did Whitney *eyeroll*

So who’s going home? DEFINITELY KADY. Her time has come to go. The other one is a tough call. Syesha? Ramiele? Asia’h? Or Kristi Lee? (who I really like an I really think she needs to be around–the show could use a nice solid country influence).

BTW was reading Country Music Weekly–hello Gary was in it–and Phil Stacey has an album coming out SOON! They had a pic of him and everything and I’d forgotten how cute he is!

NO writing! I ran errands all afternoon and cooked!!! Yes, I suck. Sven is going to beat me

camp is great.

please send smokes.

Ya’ll totally need to go check out the video at NAS.

Today I slept late, drank coffee, answered emails, went to post office, went to other post office because first post office was closed, went to store and bought syrup and bell peppers–don’t ask–, got tags for car, answered more emails, blog surfed, chatted with Emma and went to Target to get new glasses for me and #1 son. Mine are candy apple red I can’t wait.

Anyway….writing 0 errands 5

Hours wasted playing Rock Band of quality time spent with children = 3

Before I get to my recap I have to send out a personal, heart-felt message to Paula: PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY GRANDMOTHER’S CLOSET! She’s very old and senile and it’s just not nice to steal from old women, k?

Now that we have that out of the way…..

Carly with “Crazy” by Heart. I’m a big Heart fan but I don’t LURVE them. That said, this was a good solid rendition and Carly was in FINE form, but I’m not as sold on her as Simon seems to be.

Syesha with um “Me and Mr. Jones”–Loved your scarf sugar, and you looked super classy. You are so CUTE–Ooooooo sorry I was channeling Paula. Anyway it was good and very smooth. I hart you.

Brooke White–Ooooooooo Carly Simon (or was it Joanie Mitchell?). About 2/3 the way through her performance I DID wonder if she was singing to Mr. Happy but I think it was a good song choice and a solid performance with strong vocals. I really like her. I do however, wish she’d cut off that extra piece of hair that flops in Ramiele’s eyes. It makes me itch to grab my scissors!!!

Ramiele with some song I apparently hated (according to my notes). I also hated her outfit (according to my notes). I thought her vocals were okay but I didn’t 100% buy into what she was selling. I have to go with Randy here–she wasn’t keeping it real. My note says it was like a book with poor characterization.

Kristi Lee Cook–like Jaq I was NOT surprised to learn she was a tomboy–hello she SOLD a HORSE to get to the AI tryouts). She’s cute as a bug and has potential but she never quite took control of the song. The chorus sucked, it was weak and pitchy and it seemed as if instead of getting bigger, the chorus got weaker and slowed down.

Amanda Overmyer–goodbye my rocker chick friend. I”m sorry I love you. I think you’re fabulous but DAYUM WTF were you thinking? You BUTCHERED KANSAS!!!! One of my fave songs evah! OMG WTF just WTF Sadly I think that one’s going to get you voted off the island.

*Paula…dancing? again just WTF?

Alaina W–doesn’t like her food to touch. I have a note here: My son does the same thing. Matter of fact we were talking at the end of the show and Elvis had this to say about Alaina and her food issues: SOmetimes I don’t like my food to touch either. Corn and mashed potatoes are okay because it all mixes well. With Bacon and Pancakes and Syrup food touching is a no no. HOWEVER, with sausage, pancakes and syrup it’s OH YEAH! When asked why he said, “Because the bacon is crispy.”

Where was I? Oh yeah…Alaina honey you were shreiky on the high notes.And I agree w/SImon on the pagenty thing.

Alexandrea–Beautiful vocals but I HATE that song. I have to agree w/Jaq on this one–elevator bigtime but then I’ve NEVER been a big Chicago fan. She could have sung that “Saturday in the Park” Song for all I cared. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kady–the softer notes were flat and weak and you were stiff. Maybe you should have snuck a sip from Paula’s cup? Just saying. Anyway I’m sorry but Heart doesn’t Heart You Anymore. I”m sure you’ll understand because this was totally not a good song for you. I’m with Jaq–Simon you never heard that song before? WTF?

Asia’h–I sorta agree w/Simon here. It was a big song for her and she gets big points for “Degree of Difficulty”–she had a rough start but a real solid finish.

Who’s going home? Hmmmmmmm It’s a threeway for me –Kady, Amanda and/or Alaina.

Ohhhhhhh and next week guess what’s back? DIRT! I LOVE DIRT! It’s like Nip/Tuck used to be before someone started smoking crack while writing the manuscripts (the last couple episodes with the whole sibling love thing totally grossed me out. I really can’t believe you went there nad you’ve gone some really questionable places in the past). Life is good–Dirt is coming back, BSG is right around the corner (if htey’d quit moving it) and The Riches are coming. *sigh* Um yeah and I have a book due 10 weeks so I’ll be TIVO’ing a lot–promise to any of you lurking editors out there *g*

I did write one page and edit what I wrote this weekend.

WARNING: MOMMY RANT BELOW. SKIP IF YOU WANT…….

(more…)

Happy Monday Pookas!!!! I’m over at SFC today taking it down to the bare bones. Stop by and play!

Accountability Update: Saturday I managed about 8 or 9 pages on SCREWED but I got TONS of plotting done which is mega-good. Page count isn’t as big a concern as I’d thought (but my fingers are still crossed. Makes typing kinda hard but we’ll figure something out). I am reminded once again why I said I’d never write suspense. *sigh* My goal this week is 19 pages. I’d like to cross that 100 page line.

Otherwise, I had a lovely afternoon out with Lyn and Dennie (we had to case out places for our May conference–stay tuned because Margie Lawson is coming to down! SWEET!)

Other than writing and plotting and cleaning out the DVR, I cleaned my room *falls down*, cleaned out the fridge, did most of the laundry and cleaned up the laundry area (and chewed the kids out about cleaning up after themselves and doing chores. Old rules are back into effect so look out!).

Also finished Patricia Briggs’ Moon Called–really enjoyed it and will definitely be picking up the next book (yes I KNOW I’m behind–don’t remind me).

And…….last but not least, *sob* my Kevin went on his first date. Okay okay so they’re JUST FRIENDS, but still… and she’s so CUTE!!!!!!!! *sigh* damn…..

So, what’s new in your world?

SCREWED:

I’m guest blogging over at Sasha White’s today on eating issues (for Slim Camp!).

I’ve got to run out but I’m going to try and get my recap in before I go…..

Kristy Cook–She was good, she was cute, she needed to relax but I don’t think she was robotic!

Joanne B–I HART her *sigh* sadly last night was not her greatest performance.

Alaina–was the first one to give me chills. Chills are a good thing.

Amanda–was a disappointment but I liked her jeans *sigh*

Amy –Where the Boys Are? I watched that movie…I was like nine and home sick with the flu. GIrl WHAT were you thinking? Not only that it wasn’t great.

Brooke–sounded good, very true to herself but as Simon said, a dish soap commercial. Not very current IMO but I do like her and she’s Kevin’s fave.

Alexandrea–Totally brought her A game. She was fabulous and I totally disagreed with Simon.

Kady–She could have totally pulled off a Diana Krall thing but she bombed. She’s my vote to go home. Her and MS. WTBA

Asia’h—also had the chill factor. It was a great song. Not her strongest performance but still good.

Ramiele–I really like her but disagree w/the judges–I thought it was a bad song choice.

Syesha–Loved her; hated Tobacco Road

Carly–admittedly Elvis kept interrupting me while I was trying to watch but she was okay. I kinda agree w/Simon on this one.

Ok so to recap…..Kady and Ms. WTBA (Where the Boys Are) are out…….

AND I managed ten pages yesterday.

Join us at Southern Fried Chicas today for Behind the Book with Julie Cohen. She’s talking about HIS FOR THE TAKING (under its original title, DRIVING HIM WILD) was shortlisted for the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s 2008 Romance Prize, for the year’s best category romances.

Ok now on to American Idle (yes I KNOW I spelled it wrong). Overall I have to agree with Simon–few of the performances were memorable or stood out–a sad disappointment after the promise of Hollywood Week.

Paula……my chicky dude, do you smoke CRACK? I don’t think you spoke one coherent sentence the entire night!

1. David H–dude, I love you. WTF happened? Okay I’ll cut you some slack because you had to go FIRST, but next time *shakes finger*
2. Chikezee –dude sorry for butchering your name. I actually liked the throwback 60’s vibe (and I’m not much of one for 60’s music)
3. David Cook–my bald mohawk dude, you totally brought your A game. I really liked the modern feel of your song.
4. Jason Yeager–my local dude, WTF? I totally agree with Simon. Sorry to see you go home so soon.
5. Robbie C–my forgettable dude, I don’t even remember what you looked like but my note here says “Okay” –that’s not good, dude.
6. David A–I so hart you dude. You are so cute and you had so much fun. Now, go buy yourself a bottle of poise and stop with the nervous giggle thing when you try to talk.
7. Danny N–dude, you remind me of the nephew from Ugly Betty and I like that about you–I like that you seem to know who you are, and you can stalk smack to Simon, but dude, that song was kinda frantic. I was disappointed because I’ve seen you do better.
8. Luke M–my bad dude. You were just bad and forgettable. I have to agree w/Simon on this one. Sorry to see you go so soon.
9. Colton–Yo dude, FWIW I totally didn’t agree w/Simon and I thought his performance was fun and he seemed to have a good time.
10. Garrett–my hairy dude…GET A HAIRCUT! You look like Leif Garrett not Peter Frampton. Frankly maybe you should have SUNG Peter Frampton (Do you feel like I do?? *sigh*). You look like you’re drowning and you were kind of forgettable.
11. Jason (Castro?)–my hairy semi-local dude…didn’t much care for the braids but you have such a gorgeous face and beautiful eyes! I thought you were cute and hip. Two thumbs up.
12. Michael–my Ausie dude…….you took the prize. *bows down*

Just to recap, I think Luke M and Jason Yeager are going home IMO.

Now, let’s see what the ladies can do tonight.

PS I actually wrote like 2 pages last night. I’ve written myself into a bit of a corner so it’s going to take some mulling.

I’m still in the chokehold of this contest for another day or two so no writing. None. Nada. No reading either.

Did I mention also that my eye is f*cked up? Yeah it is. Apparently I’m allergic to my lens rewetting drops … in one eye. And my nose ring is infected.

Before another minute goes by, i wanted to let you know that Melissa Blue is our guest blogger today over at SFC so stop on by!!!!

Remember ya’ll, tomorrow is just another day