The Dirty Skinny

Warning: If you’re expecting me to write something serious here, you will be disappointed.

I can’t say I’m one of those writers who always KNEW they wanted to be a writer. Nor could I say I’ve been doing it all my life, though I did find some old notes I wrote my mom eons ago-I think I was five.  My how time flies.

Growing up, I wanted to be a lawyer and a psychologist–  obviously I’ve seen the light, though to be honest, I’ve never settled down into any career until I started writing. I’ve worked fast food, as a receptionist, an office manager (in a daycare that gets me bonus points), delivered pizza, did a stint at Wally World as a cashier, was a hairdresser for 5 years (oh the stories I could tell), and even worked one weekend waitressing in a strip club. And that’s just the stuff I got paid to do! These days I file stuff, answer phones and tweak websites to put food on the table-this is important when you have kids who grow faster than puppies-and write in my spare time.

I figure it was all training for the writing gig. That and all those Barbara Cartland romances I cut my teeth on.

The biggest ‘in family’ joke? I was supposed to be retarded. No, really! I was! I definitely qualify as weird and I’ll even confess to moments of exceptional underachievement, but I’m not slow (except before coffee).  I’m opinionated and loud and super-silly… once you get to know me.  I’m also one of those weird folk who believes in self expression (thus the tattoos and the pierced nose) and rule-breaking.

I don’t drink beer (why would I when God gave us Vodka?) and I don’t like football, but don’t tell the Powers that Be or they might revoke my Texas Citizenship. And I say ya’ll but never ya’ll all, cause that’s just wrong.

Last but not least, I’m a storyteller and a writer, and I’m here to entertain you.

***

Pets: Um five. I have no idea how this happened.

Books: WAY too many. I have no idea how this happened either.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

What do you read for fun: Pretty much anything!

What would you be doing if you couldn’t be a writer? Be a professional sleeper.  You can get paid for that, right?

Who is your favorite basketball team? Hmm if you ask my kids, it’s UT (that’s Longhorns), but truthfully I’m a longtime North Carolina fan.  As for pro teams Cleveland *blowing kisses at Lebron*